12 Tips to Help You Accept Compliments Gracefully (2023)

FAQs

12 Tips to Help You Accept Compliments Gracefully? ›

The simplest way to accept a compliment is to smile and say “Thank you.” If you feel a “thank you” is too short, you can expand on it slightly. “Thank you, much appreciated!” “Thanks, it's kind of you to say so.” “Thank you very much.”

The simplest way to accept a compliment is to smile and say “Thank you.” If you feel a “thank you” is too short, you can expand on it slightly. “Thank you, much appreciated!” “Thanks, it's kind of you to say so.” “Thank you very much.”

“People have trouble accepting compliments for a number of reasons. Sometimes, it's tied to social anxiety. It can also be caused by feelings of low self-esteem, or by going through life without experiencing positive feelings of gratitude,” explains Lisa Schuman, a New York–based social worker.

The rule of thumb when you receive a compliment is to simply and humbly say "Thank you" or "Thank you; I appreciate your kind words." By accepting the compliment, you show gratitude for the other person's kind remarks and do not come off as vain, bashful or prideful.

I've also learned a simple trick: When someone gives you a compliment, just say, “Thank you.” Don't resist it. Don't overthink it. Don't question. Simply acknowledge.

They Take it to Heart. When presented with a sincere comment, you can probably manage to at least paste on a smile, squeak out a quick, “Thank you!”, and then move on with your day. But, confident people? They take things a step further—they actually reflect on and then believe the praise that was offered.

Referred to as cognitive dissonance, it's the phrase psychologists use to describe the inconsistencies. Let's say a co-worker says, "You're so smart. You always say just the right things in your reports." If you don't view yourself as a smart, competent person, hearing those words might send you into a tailspin.

Compliments and Self-Esteem

More often than not, our receptivity to compliments is a reflection of our self-esteem and deep feelings of self-worth. Specifically, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable because they contradict their own self-views.

How do I stop rejecting compliments? ›

Show the Value of the Compliment

You could accept it by saying something like, “Thanks, it's so satisfying to know that my work is making a difference.” You'll be doing both of you a favor—by verbalizing what the compliment means to you, you'll feel a greater impact.

All this to say, many of us respond awkwardly to compliments as an unconscious act of self-protection. Unfortunately, this unconscious self-protection often robs us of human connection. It keeps us from letting in the kind words and gratitude of others.

When you deflect or deny that praise, you're basically contradicting them; you're saying that they don't have good judgment, discernment, or taste, or that they're insincere — that they don't know what they're talking about. You're returning their kind words with an insult.

A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin proposes that people often refrain from giving compliments because they mis-predict how their compliments make others feel. Giving compliments to others requires little effort, while having great results for both parties.

After saying That's so nice of you to say you could then return the compliment by saying something nice about the other person. For example, ⁠I really love your shoes too!.

Even if you think the person has an ulterior motive, just say, “thank you.” The more comfortable you become at accepting recognition, the more comfortable you will be with giving it. If you catch yourself diverting the compliment, it is never too late to go back and thank them.

How compliments make you feel good? ›

Compliments help us communicate that appreciation we feel toward one another. “I would define a compliment as any sort of sincere appreciation of a trait in someone or a behavior or an appearance,” Berger says. And that makes us feel good.

Any time you receive a compliment, reply with "Thank you." It's a simple, but powerful phrase. The person bestowing the compliment will be most receptive to a humble response. Say something like, "Thank you, that's very kind of you," or "Thank you, I appreciate the compliment."

: a compliment that implies it is not really a compliment at all. She paid me a backhanded compliment when she said my work was "surprisingly good."

Giving compliments increases your happiness.

Research shows you can reliably increase your personal well-being by engaging in random acts of kindness toward others. Paying a compliment is one free and easy way to do this.

14. They don't give compliments. Narcissists want to be complimented. They don't have to make people feel good about themselves because it's not their job to do so.

Receiving a compliment can have a powerful effect to your self-esteem but giving compliments can also be a beneficial boost to your health. It's a win-win! Smiling, laughter, and praise all release endorphins and serotonin, the feel-good chemicals that can decrease stress and anxiety.

The too-frequent compliment.

Compliments can be subject to the laws of economics, meaning that the more often you give them out, the less they mean. By giving nonstop compliments, you seem insincere, and even if you genuinely feel this way, it would be best to keep some of those words of admiration to yourself.

“You look great!” is a flattering compliment to receive but tacking on “…for your age” to the tail-end may backfire. This can be taken as a form of ageism, or “the stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination against people on the basis of their age” according to the World Health Organization (WHO).

What part of the brain reacts to compliments? ›

Praise activates the striatum, one of the reward areas in the brain. Researchers believe that, by activating this area, praise improves learning that occurs during sleep, a process referred to as 'skill consolidation'. In other words: by giving others compliments, we help them to learn and to perform better.

Rejecting a compliment is just plain rude

Someone admires something about you and they want you to know. Don't make them feel bad for wanting to show you how awesome they think you are.

Just Say Thank You

The best approach, she says, is to keep it super simple with a "thank you" or “I appreciate it." Beyond that, there's no need to share an excuse or deflect a compliment. Doing so can impact your sense of self-worth.

If someone is constantly giving you compliments, flattering you, and being oh so nice and or so sweet, they probably are too good to be true. People often demonstrate this behavior to hook you in only to disappoint you or manipulate you later.

We've lost touch with the fact that a compliment was not meant to be about us and what we don't have, but about someone else and what they do. We've lost touch with it because today — more than before — we are told exactly what a “perfect” human is. We know how they look, how they speak, and what they do.

flatterer. A person who lavishes praise, often insincerely; a sycophant: he is not allowing flatterers to deceive him.

Acknowledge the compliment with gratitude – “Thanks for your sweet words!” or “Thank you so much for noticing” Don't dismiss their appreciation for you by dissolving the compliment with an answer like “No, no, this dress doesn't look that flattering on me”

You're gorgeous — and that's the least interesting thing about you, too. You're so thoughtful. Your creative potential seems limitless. You're the coolest person I know.

Men often see compliments as "face-threatening acts," or acts intended to embarrass or patronize, the study authors found. What was meant as a nicety could be seen as a way to assert control. When it comes to compliments from their own sex, men often regard appearance-based praise as a come-on.

How do you compliment without sounding desperate? ›

Show the Value of the Compliment

You could accept it by saying something like, “Thanks, it's so satisfying to know that my work is making a difference.” You'll be doing both of you a favor—by verbalizing what the compliment means to you, you'll feel a greater impact.

If you have low self-esteem you may have difficulty with relationships and problems at work or school. You may become very upset by criticism or disapproval and withdraw from activities and people. You may avoid doing anything where you may be judged or measured against other people.

Compliments and Self-Esteem

Specifically, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable because they contradict their own self-views. People actively seek to verify their own perceptions of themselves, whether those are positive or negative.

Examples: Compliment as a noun If you like him, you should pay him a compliment. I'll take compliments over criticism any day! As a verb, compliment means to express praise, admiration, or respect.